When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin: I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal...
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal, f*cking is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f*cking?
Other quotes by George Carlin
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: it attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.